Friday, January 22, 2016

Blogging Tips and other War Stories.

Depending on your point of view I am a very accomplished blogger. Financially, no, popularity, not yet, accolades, not really, critical acclaim, you must be dreaming, but posts, lots of them, heck yes. I am there. I am a machine. And for the sake of my continued happiness that is how it is measured today. And, for the sake of our friendship I am going to reveal my secrets for writing blog posts.
Man, I love that vest.

First get a blogging vest. Here is mine. No that was just a joke. Why would I joke about having a vest? I'm not joking about having a vest, it is my vest. It is not a blogging vest. Well, sometimes it is, if you consider that I wear it when I am blogging. Mostly, that is a coincidence, though. It is kind of chilly and a vest is what they call "Layering." Wearing several articles of lighter clothing to stay comfortable. Plus it has a lot of pockets.

Any fool could be a blogger if exciting things were happening. Intrigue, and drama make great posts. But, what about a guy who puts on jeans, a tshirt, drinks too much coffee and works in the salt mines of modern society? Who wants to read about the trials of modern man, the dilemma of phone call, email or fax? Who wants to hear about the desperate race to escape the meeting, and be the first one in the kitchen, while the microwave is open. Nobody,

So, what is the secret?

The secret lies in the old quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. "Life is what you make of it."

And that is the secret to blogging. Make a big deal out of it.  Blow everything that happens completely out of proportion. If the coffee maker is empty, and you make a fresh pot, you are a hero, my friend. You saved hundreds from the slow painful death of dehydration. Don't take out the trash, defuse the IED sparking and smoldering in the kitchen, a grateful nation thanks you.

Everything you do is important, critical, victory hinges on the meatloaf sandwich in your lunch. History demands an overzealous, obsessively detailed account of the fight you had to save it from falling into the wrong hands.

I'm rooting for you. We are depending on you.