Today's Horoscope, brought to you by Dr, 👀
If you were born today you might as well stop and get a couple of donuts, a sausage sandwich and a creamy, delicious mochaccino with extra whipped cream, it is not going to be a very good day. It will start out smoothly enough, but about halfway to work the car audio system will start to get a little fuzzy. Soon the audio book on the power of positive thinking that you have been listening to in an effort to improve your puny, meaningless life will stop altogether.
Replacing the mantra "I am a success, and I can achieve" will be a countdown, beginning at 15, and slowly working toward 0. As it gets closer to bottom a large black cloud with fiery tendrils will darken the bright, cheerful morning sky. Cars will careen into each other, and soon the freeway will look like a battlefield with burning, crushed wreckage from one side to the other. Due to your cautious, defensive driving you will make your way through the flaming hulks, and the screaming frightened people littering the road.
Only to find the building where you work laying in a smashed, shattered heap of twisted metal and broken glass. Your phone will ring, and when you answer it your boss will tell you to take the day off, with pay. And you will thing "dangit, I could have slept in!" Your drive home takes two and a half hours. Life is so unfair.
Your lucky number is 73 and your lucky letter is Q. It is not a good day to invest your time in foolish pursuits, like that ever stopped you.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Horoscope, if you were born today.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.